Day 18 of 365

In writing the title I feel like I’m writing my own prison sentence. I imagine that actual prison time would drag by, while this is flying by. Last year when I was here I felt as if every moment dragged by. No matter how busy I was, I felt like each day, each month and finally the year would never end and I would be stuck here in Iraq forever.

So why the change. What has changed my mindset so completely that I no longer notice the passing of time. I barely notice as the days flow in and out. Is it Curtis being here? Is it me being a civilian? Is it this sense of feeling less obligated to my country for some reason, even if I still work hard?

When I was here as a soldier last year I took so much pride in serving my country. I wore the uniform and served with all my heart and soul. But now it’s different. I’m not here in uniform. While mine and Curtis’s job are important (more his than mine), its somehow different. Last year I would have laid down my life in an instant, but I no longer feel that way.

I’m sure as I spend the next 347 days grappling with these thoughts and feelings I will eventually come to some kind of conclusion. Until then I remain as ever, confused and learning.

2 Comments »

  1. KC & Bill said,

    February 21st, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    Have been enjoying your blog, Julz! We miss you & Curtis to the heavens, but think if you often (every time we look at the lizard above the fridge)….Don’t get too down on yourself about work, you are a very brite young lady and have a wonderful husband who loves you, that puts you far ahead of sooooo many people in this world. Those are the priceless things in life, all others are just material, even internet…..remember, some of us can still recall what life was like before connectivity. Luv & Missing you both from south Texas! KC & BL & The FerguLayton Gang

  2. Vickie Ingram said,

    March 3rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    You should be very proud as a woman to have served our country as you have. All of us at home are proud of all of you and pray for you everyday. There is no way you should feel less obligated because you are there for a second year–just wearing a different hat. Both were important and worn at the appropriate time. You are young, in love and with a future ahead of you that will be awesome. The two of you can achieve whatever you want as long as you work hard. Take notes this year for that book you’re going to write 😉

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